In the depths of the Amazon, a young boy was discovered frozen in an oil barrel of ice. He was defrosted at some point in the 13th century, was moved to Winnipeg, and then given a computer. This holds what that boy made. Now he sits, cursing in front of a computer, while trying to make the world's greatest space sim and then throwing it out 2 weeks later.
Warning: Some parts of the above may have been embellished or altered for dramatic effect.